body awaiting baby
Happy Mother's Day 2019
I grew up largely in a vacuum, a space desperately wanting for strong, inspired, and wise femininity. At least I was blessed enough to find a partial safe haven in my home. However, home isn’t ever enough for a young girl or young lady with aspirations keen enough to set the world ablaze. It takes a village, and my village was severely lacking. Mostly, the females around me were bodies awaiting a baby. They wanted two or three things in life above all else: a man to be under, a baby in their arms, and a sizeable inheritance (if they hadn’t already gained access to it).
Black females in the United States were statistically more likely to give birth to a baby before she was ready to provide critical care and support while white females’ hopes rested almost entirely (and critically) on a baby coming forth of her vagina before the ripe old age of twenty-five. (Hispanic and Asian women were mostly manipulative, rude, distrusting, and some were just openly racist towards me. Imagine that: women of color mistreating other women of color; this is not as uncommon as you might think.) So, I was almost entirely alone.
This desire to bring a baby into the world has shaped the vast majority of what I have witnessed females around me conform to: she can’t leave her cheating abusive husband, she can’t take a stand because the repercussions may affect more than herself, she can’t finish school, get a job, take a promotion, travel, stand out, say yes, say no, or do any of the things which I had already decided I couldn’t live without – because of baby or her desire to have a baby. With the whole wide world at her disposal, her small world relied intensely on baby. (And if you let her tell it – with bated breath, no less – she couldn’t be complete without baby, and she believed it was ingrained in her DNA to be hostage to baby. )
Nevermind the failed women who fail to comprehend what womanhood and femininity is truly about, and who therefore inevitably fail and disappoint the best of us (they’ve sucked up way too much oxygen from our lives as it is, if you ask me). This piece isn’t for them or even about them. This piece is for us: me, you, and every woman (man and child) who gave us cause to hope and to celebrate. Today we celebrate you.
I am more than a body awaiting baby. So, almost every conversation that I have had with women from high school and through law school has left me uninspired and able (and indeed eager) to walk away. I will always walk away from mediocrity, failure, apathy, and ambivalence. This lack in my village (of inspiring women) had left me peerless. I was happy but peerless – and this is why I started my business.
I was searching for peers: women so skilled, thoughtful, dedicated, and resilient that she wouldn’t settle for an unhappy life of underachievement, aches, complaints and pain. Never before in my life, prior to starting my own company, did I have the privilege to stand in a room filled with women who not only aspired to be more but who would not settle for less. I started my own company, and suddenly I was surrounded by women who wouldn’t live on their knees bending to the wills and whims of those who we all know to be inferior in most aspects of life (despite paying their way to the top for a temporary boost of self-esteem and short-lived success).
To the women who are a village of support and inspiration to us all: Happy Mother’s Day!
To the women who inspire, fight back, stand up, speak out, ask tough questions, and represent all women so well; to the mothers who remind us that everyday is mother’s day, because we wouldn’t be where we are now without you; the mothers who have sacrificed so much so that a young woman unready to be a mother would have resources in abundance to give to her children – Happy Mother’s Day!
To the mothers who encourage young women of color, when a big bad white world tells us daily that we are meant only to serve and live in chains – Happy Mother’s Day!
To the mothers across the globe who inspired and encouraged me, and gave me a community of support and refuge, when I was so young but still recognized that I was peerless, to you I will always give honor.
With love, admiration, sincerity, and respect
Happy Mother’s Day!
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